I was driving to Lawrence yesterday for the basketball game, listening to some rock solid Scrubs music, when I had a moment of realization. I never wrote my annual October Regrets post.
This could be because I'm currently living in a world of no regrets (unlikely); however, I think it has a bit more to do with the weather. The cold part of the fall only recently started to strike. When the temp drops into the 20s, the leaves start really falling, and bundling up becomes more of a necessity and less of an option... That's the time for a person to take stock of his life and realize that it isn't as awesome as it could be.
Last year, on another blog, I believe, I took this time to write about the Bosnian Babe. Since then, she got engaged; and, perhaps more importantly, distance, time, and life have gotten in the way.
I just realized that I've run into two old wish-they-were flames in the past six months. One is getting married. The other is married. And here I am. Weird, but not entirely shocking.
As I was saying, last year I devoted this space to the Babe. This year I don't really have anything like that. The thing about regrets is the zero-sum nature of them. It's foolish to regret something that blows over easily or that can simply be replaced. There is very little reason to regret losing a reproduction of a Monet, but all kinds of reasons to regret losing your kid's first painting.
So now I'm in an odd place. I don't have a ridiculously well paying job, but I have a theory that, assuming I am a good lawyer, I'll make that up in the long run.
What's that leave? I don't have a girlfriend; I'm not married; I don't have kids. These are all eventually correctable. Theoretically, of course.
I could lament my lack of a hard body, but I've almost gotten to a point in life where that seems pointless.
I guess the only thing left is to over-value some girl or another and lament the fact that we aren't together, and we probably never will be. Even that I've made my peace with. So what if she is pretty and sunny and not afraid to dance at inappropriate times? Dime a dozen, let me tell you.
We just chatted. Then she chatted with two other guys, both of which are more attractive than I, one of which actually lent her money for lunch. Am I really going to compete with that? Wait, more importantly, am I really going to bother competing with that?
Um, if you don't know me yet, the answer to that question is no. Actually, often the verbally spoken answer is yes, but the physically realized answer is no.
Back on point: So I think I have lots of regrets. I can feel them bubbling somewhere underneath. I just don't know what they are. All of the obvious ones aren't relevant.
Well, I give up for now.
WAIT!!! I've got it! A regret, above all other things, is something we aren't sure if we can fix. I was discussing this with my Jewish friend recently. I have one personality trait that - for want of a better term - I regret.
I regret being more attracted to outgoing girls than shy ones. And I really only regret that because I don't have the necessary tools to deal with the issue.