Friday, April 17, 2009

This song is absolutely right

I just finished listening to this song that a facebook friend posted some lyrics to.  I feel like it perfectly describes every single moment in my life when I COULD kiss her, but I don't.  It's seriously amazing.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

the little jokes

I've got a new thing to talk about.  I'm cutting and pasting the following from an email I sent today.  I feel like it says a lot about me.

I believe the enigmatic smile of the Mona Lisa began as a mistake.  I think the architect of the leaning tower of Pisa had no idea he was building on weak soil.  I believe that Einstein’s theory of relativity came into being because a clock reflected light irritatingly into his eyes and Isaac Newton really did get hit in the head with an apple.

 I’m not suggesting that a joke series that I write is going to shine the light into quantum computing or demonstrate a means of traveling through the universe faster than light.  The thing is, most of the really important things in our lives have very little to do with science or the advancement of mankind.  The most important moments in our lives are, in fact, very tiny.  Sometimes, the most important thing is nothing more than an unexpected smile, an honest and undemanding compliment, or a nod of approval.  And sometimes it can be a brief story that can make you laugh or make you feel inspired.

 I think I would call that a life goal of mine.  I don’t need to paint the roof of the next Sistine Chapel.  I’d instead like to be the guy who told Michelangelo a few jokes on his way up and down the scaffolding, just enough so Mike could overcome the desire to quit.

 On the other hand, it’d be cool to be rich and famous, but not especially necessary.

Friday, January 23, 2009

No Prize

Hi! It's 3am! As you all know, I tend not to write blogs anymore. This is partially because I'm lazy, partially because I feel nervous about the process, and partially because I typically only write when especially pissed off.

Tonight I'm really only writing because I had to do some name and email changes for school purposes, and I was reminded that this thing existed.

Alright, so I believe we've all heard my litany of self-abusive dislikes. It's a solid, firm list that typically stands up to a lot of pounding, except from certain unnamed areas.

Anyway, I've got a new one. Have you ever seen "A Beautiful Mind"? It's an alright movie. I never saw the Oscar worthiness that others did, but it was undoubtedly enjoyable. The reason I bring it up has to do with a scene at a bar. Five girls are at the bar. Five guys are at the bar. Traditional market economics dictate that the 5 guys should ALL go for the most attractive girl.

The logic here is that the winner will have the most attractive girl, thus ensuring that the best parties survive and theoretically reproduce.

Except in reality, this leaves 8 people with nothing to do, which really sucks. Furthermore, there's a really good chance that the other four guys are going to "cockblock" the fifth guy, thereby ensuring that no one goes home with the prize.

In this way, we learn that blind capitalism can lead to everyone getting screwed. Or, more accurately, to no one getting screwed.

So, you might be asking yourself, where are we going with this?

Simply put, I'm a dating communist. I do not compete. That's just not in the cards for me. Instead, I sit at the bar, talk to friends, play bar games, have a great general time, and then I go home alone.

Tonight, like many nights, in addition to all the good times, I did find myself in a girl competition. She's a cute one too. Also a law student. Blonde hair. Pretty eyes.

However, three guys were hitting on her. Me. And two ripped dudes. I mean, we're talking cut up. If these guys have fat on their bodies, it's because they haven't finished digesting it.

So... I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do? This was not a contest I was going to win. One guy was generally nice, somewhat reserved, but also pretty good at talking to ladies. The other guy was extremely interesting, having traveled all around the world, but he was a little brutish.

That pretty much covers my bases. Both have me beat in the looks department. One is interesting and has traveled more and actually read more, beating me in that category. The other is friendly and nice and a good conversationalist, either beating or tying me in that category.

The fact of the matter is, I'm just not much of a prize. If a girl were to parade me around to her friends, they'd all be lukewarm in their later, girl-talk praises.

Going back to that economic metaphor, I'm like the 4th guy in a list of five. I'm "aight." I definitely won't be going to prison. I'm not tall. I'm not muscular. I'm not thin. I'm not versed in philosophy or poetry. I've only done some international traveling. I'm very nice, but not gentlemanly. I'm funny, but not hilarious. I'm a law student, but who the hell isn't in this crowd?

So that's my thought of the night.

Oh, I do have another. This is one that's been lurking about in my head. I don't think, in my entire life, I've ever thought of myself as attractive.

This is too bad, because I think I might have been, back in high school. I was looking at some pictures from sophomore, junior, and the early parts of senior year. I really did look pretty good back that. At that time I thought of myself as the "fat, but not as fat as Carnt" guy.

I guess that's just one of those 20/20 things. Then again, maybe everyone else saw me as the "fat, but not as fat as Carnt" guy too.