Thursday, August 30, 2007

Ho bags and equity

In my continuing quest to be casual, you may have noted my recent lack of posting. To that I say, "DAMN STRAIGHT, HO BAG!"

In related news, Ho Bag is one of my favorite curses, because it can have so many meanings. I mean, what is a ho bag? Is it a bag that hoes carry around? Or is it a bag full of hoes? Or, if you are of the dark comedy bent, is it actually bang composed of hoes?

All are possibilities.

Anyway, in school news I successful explained the difference between a court of law and a court of equity to a bunch of 1Ls. For those of you who don't know (like me, 12 months ago) a court of equity is a court where everyone is already guilty, it's just that we're supposed to feel sorry for the guilty, to the point that it would seem unfair to hold them to the penalty they've earned.

So, for example, if a person overstays a parking meter because he or she broke a leg, there is no question that he or she is guilty of having committed the infraction of having parked overlong. That is not in dispute. A court of law, which focuses primarily on that kind of thing, would immediately say, "Oh, you're goin' down. You KNOW you're goin down."

Meanwhile, a court of equity would look at the situation and say, "Is it really fair for Susy Bootsy to pay this ticket? I mean, sure, she overstayed the limit, but she was detained by the broken leg, which was caused by a KU vehicle, which was driven by a KU employee, who was busily doing work for the university at the time of the accident."


... Baby!

Anyway, that's my job. No, not running over beautiful women! Silly! I am supposed to look at the circumstances and determine whether upholding various tickets is in any way fair. And now we've got a whole bunch of 1Ls who are going to try to argue one way or the other about it.

Of course, every once in a long while, even the original ticket is in dispute, and suddenly we shift gears to court of law, but those are rare and often stupid situations that I hate. F them. And F their situational mom too.

Any other news? Nah, not really. Tomorrow I have to give an hour long tour that I've never given in 20 minutes. How? you ask. Well, if I was a betting man, I'd say I'd probably induce a coma, then implant a memory into the potential student that not only explains the law school, but also provides for a better understanding the culture and the world in which it is situated, as well as the people and the meaningful lives they lead. Then, when the student wakes up, I'd hand her the flute she had learned how to play and send her off to contracts class.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A conservative liberal?

In constitutional law we discussed the fact that the supreme court's ability to check the constitutionality of something (called "judicial review") is undemocratic, since they are not elected and cannot be held accountable for most actions. The response to this is: good.

It sees that the more democratic a governmental official is, by which I mean the more accountable he or she is to his or her constituents, the less reason is involved in decisions and votes. People become slaves to the mob and popular opinion.

Mind you, this is a great thing in many (if not most) situations. The problem is that popular opinion, especially in this world of 30 second commercials but probably since the dawn of time, has never been the most logical and reasonable thing to work with. A lynch mob isn't interested in philosophical discussion.

And so, while it is important to listen to the crowd, it is also crucial to consider centuries of logic, reason, and learning. Whether that background can save us from ourselves is never assured (e.g. Dred Scot, slavery, the rights of nonpropertied individuals, etc.), it remains our last, best hope.

So I've decided that I do actually have some conservative values. I think, for all that I'm a huge fan of swinging wildly liberal, I'm equally afraid of swinging wildly conservative. As this is the case, I'd rather be stuck in some unmoving middle ground than in a nation where rapid shifts result in instability. I believe that living at either extreme is dangerous and unhealthy for a population and a civilization. Consider communism in Russia and facism in Germany. Not the best of things.

Therefore, I'm going to revise my liberal opinion. Rather than being a straight progressive, I think I choose to be a gradual progressive. This means I can now call myself a moderate lib and mean it, rather than just saying it to pay lip service. I believe that I have tendencies to want to drift in the land of communism, and I'm going to guess that at least a few of those tendencies are improper.

All of this leaves me in a strange position that (surprise, surprise) works entirely to my advantage. I believe that the nation should remain in a state of gradual, start-and-stop progress. Yet I also believe it is my duty to speak for the more liberal side of the liberal party, because if I espouse moving toward the middle and both sides don't, then movement will shift to one direction or the other, which goes against my beliefs.

In other words, I should behave the way my gut wants me to behave, because my polar opposite (whoever that bastard is) almost certainly will do the same, and we need to offset each other.

Weird, huh? It's a little like state vote swapping, but on an individual level.

Luckily, my gut mostly doesn't want me to do very much and tends to suggest doing studies to make sure my opinion is right and is otherwise whiny and reactionary.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

A Day in the Life

Sunday. Ah, what a terrible, terrible, wonderful day. It marks the beginning. And in this case it marks a number of beginnings. That's right, today is the first Sunday for the first full week of classes. Tomorrow I will learn just how well I'll be able to handle Tax (ah!), Con Law (eeh!) and Commercial Secured Transactions (oh MY!).

I'm actually less horrified than one might expect. Call me a lover of pain and mundane, but I actually think I might like all three classes. Constitutional Law has an interesting historical background that I really kind of dig. And both my other classes are heavily based in statutes with which I feel highly comfortable, after spending an entire summer working the KSAs.

Ooh. Also I have my interview tomorrow. See? EXCITING day!

note: I think I'll spend all of tomorrow updating this post, so we can see my state of emotions as the day progresses. Present state: Chachi.


Monday - 1:15pm

Two classes down, one GIANT one to go. That's Con Law for all you looky-loos. Two hours of AWESOME. The rest of the day has been suprisingly unhorrible. I've enjoyed both classes, am kind of interested in this "no computer" thing, and didn't do painfully bad in my interview.

Now: Constitutional Law.

Present State: Opie.

Monday - 9:01pm

Well, I finished several hours ago and absolutely failed to update. Luckily the world didn't end. Or at least the parts that I've been paying attention to. Overall, I have to say that the first day was a good one. I exchanged many emails. I believe I'm back in the good graces of my carpool associates.

Oh yeah. Did I fail to mention that earlier? Yes, it seems that I will always and forever have a problem waking up on time. It's going to be a failing until I get old enough that I simply don't have the will power to stay asleep. This morning I awoke about 1 minute after I was supposed to have met my car pool buddies. That's right. I woke UP then.

Naturally, the first thing I did was mind-numbedly attempt to get ready as fast as humanly possible, until it struck me that trying to do the carpool thing was just going to slow everyone down. Also, people were waiting for me. So I called a carpool denizen and explained that it would probably be best if they left without me. Then the hurricane of NJ-getting-ready struck.

It's safe to say that no one was killed in the process, but it is equally safe to say that no one was in my way.

Anyway, I eventually got in the car, flew down the road to i-35, flew around i-35 to 435 and from there to k-10. This usually takes me about 15 minutes. Today it took me 6.

In the end I managed to get to work and school in time without breaking the 10 mile-over-the-speedlimit speed limit, but I still ended up at work 2 minutes late. How, you ask? My pants.

More accurately, my suit pants. More specifically and accurately, the suspenders of those pants. And more accurately specifically and accurately, the lack of them.

Got it? No? Let me put it another way: My hands were full and my pants kept falling down as I walked to work.

That's right. I got my suit, and I got it altered by Sunday. The only thing I forgot was to actually BUY the suspenders. Oh what a world is this, where pants meant to be worn with suspenders can be purchased without suspenders!!!?

Note: I recently read in GQ that heavier men look better with the floating waist created by suspenders, thus my newfound interest in them... Endnote.

Yeah, so the rest of the day went well. I didn't embarrass myself at my first job interview. I did forget to put in lottery cards for future interview positions, but I wasn't totally sold on doing that, anyway. I mean, seriously, how many people actually WANT to work for the IRS?

Aside from myself.

And all the people I talked it up to.

Friday, August 17, 2007

The First Day

Alright, enough people have complained about my lack of updating, so I've decided now is the time to rock! (WE SALUTE YOU!)

Today I've begun a quest to do something new. I'm going to try to pay attention in every class. The only internet I'm going to allow myself is the internet of love (i.e. email). How long this plan lasts, and how much I'm really interested in following it remains to be seen.

Already my causal approach to law school is showing in myriad ways. I got zero interviews on the first week. I missed the very first class on the very first day. I spent hours and hours doing what amounted to one hour's worth of work.

Really, I'm on the ball with not being on the ball. I'm almost excited to see what other things I can not do well.

Alright, that's it for now. OH WAIT! One other thing. I just remembered. I got my paper back from my summer internship. I should preface this with the fact that it is a credit/no-credit course. Anyway, I got my revised paper back. Prof. Keller tore it apart. She explained how it was shoddily researched and not particularly clear. She pointed out how frequently I used unnecessary words. She all but damned me to the 5 depths of hell (or however many there are).

And then she said, "But it is worth credit."


That was the positive thing. Have you ever heard of a complement sandwich? She gave me something akin to a complement open-faced sandwich, where the gravy is so heavy that there may as well not have ever been bread. Also, the bread is crappy bread. And thinly sliced. And had to be toasted because it was so old.

Alright, I may be employing a little hyperbole. So sue me.