Thursday, August 30, 2007

Ho bags and equity

In my continuing quest to be casual, you may have noted my recent lack of posting. To that I say, "DAMN STRAIGHT, HO BAG!"

In related news, Ho Bag is one of my favorite curses, because it can have so many meanings. I mean, what is a ho bag? Is it a bag that hoes carry around? Or is it a bag full of hoes? Or, if you are of the dark comedy bent, is it actually bang composed of hoes?

All are possibilities.

Anyway, in school news I successful explained the difference between a court of law and a court of equity to a bunch of 1Ls. For those of you who don't know (like me, 12 months ago) a court of equity is a court where everyone is already guilty, it's just that we're supposed to feel sorry for the guilty, to the point that it would seem unfair to hold them to the penalty they've earned.

So, for example, if a person overstays a parking meter because he or she broke a leg, there is no question that he or she is guilty of having committed the infraction of having parked overlong. That is not in dispute. A court of law, which focuses primarily on that kind of thing, would immediately say, "Oh, you're goin' down. You KNOW you're goin down."

Meanwhile, a court of equity would look at the situation and say, "Is it really fair for Susy Bootsy to pay this ticket? I mean, sure, she overstayed the limit, but she was detained by the broken leg, which was caused by a KU vehicle, which was driven by a KU employee, who was busily doing work for the university at the time of the accident."


... Baby!

Anyway, that's my job. No, not running over beautiful women! Silly! I am supposed to look at the circumstances and determine whether upholding various tickets is in any way fair. And now we've got a whole bunch of 1Ls who are going to try to argue one way or the other about it.

Of course, every once in a long while, even the original ticket is in dispute, and suddenly we shift gears to court of law, but those are rare and often stupid situations that I hate. F them. And F their situational mom too.

Any other news? Nah, not really. Tomorrow I have to give an hour long tour that I've never given in 20 minutes. How? you ask. Well, if I was a betting man, I'd say I'd probably induce a coma, then implant a memory into the potential student that not only explains the law school, but also provides for a better understanding the culture and the world in which it is situated, as well as the people and the meaningful lives they lead. Then, when the student wakes up, I'd hand her the flute she had learned how to play and send her off to contracts class.

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