So here's an interesting concern. What if the main reason I didn't get so many of these jobs is because I didn't know the right people?
It sounds like my most recent rejection was due, in part, to someone at the office knowing a guy who had applied. If it is the person I think it is, I'm pretty sure my grades are better or at least the same; I've had an extra year of experience; I worked in a law related field last summer; I have any experience with the judges and court in Topeka; and I'm really an all around more interesting and outgoing person.
However, the person who got the job had an relationship of some kind with an associate, and I have a friendship with a part time law student who is also working there.
I mean, in retrospect, shouldn't I have given that job up for lost the second I found out about this other person? His qualities over-power mine in every way.
It's possible that my current year long job hunt has, and is continuing to make me a bitter person. Here I was, thinking the only thing missing in my life was the ability to get a date. I had no idea that getting a job can be so equally horrible.
It'd be neat if every three years or so, from this point forward, I became terrible at one more thing successively, so that, by the time I was about 75, childless, and reviled by all those around me, I could die mercifully in my sleep.
Wow. Even I thought that was a little too dark. But dammit, I HATE this process.
Tomorrow morning I'm driving to Topeka (that'll be today, for those of you reading) to be pleasant at ANOTHER job interview, just so I can rejected again. Mind you, the odds for this job sound slightly more decent. It isn't being advertised at KU. I applied because I had an in. Thing is, if they only hire one person, it is simply impossible for that person to be me. This, I've learned, is a maxim of the legal profession.
"Thou shalt not hire NJ, for he is flabby and unworthy."
Update: It's funny reading some of these recent postings again. They remind me of my "why can't I find an attractive woman who is even vaguely interested in me" speeches. In those speeches I spend a great deal of time wondering exactly what, in the rational world, could be the reason for my failure. Usually, I decide it comes down to my weight. And my incredible lack of trying and fear of failure.
The nice twist on the job front is that lack of trying isn't an issue anymore. I've definitely put myself out there plenty of times.
If I had to compare the two, I would say I prefer my lack-of-women thing. For one thing, I'm probably richer for it. (You know, a penny saved...) The other nice thing about is it the notable lack of complete failure. Oh sure, I've been rejected occasionally, but never as many times in such a brief span of time. My dating rejections have had good healing time spans in between. With this job thing, since August I've been rejected every month but January and maybe March. Big difference there.