It's 11pm. Do you know where your kids are?
So today I had another interview, and I walked away incredibly excited about the job. Seriously, I need to stop that. As far back as I can remember, the place I've ended up has been somewhere unexpected, where I've had my reservations. Often these reservations were well founded, and I hated life until I adopted, adapted, and improved.
Which is why I'm starting to get a little worried. I've had all kinds of interviews, and I've totally blown it on the ones I wasn't interested in, which means I'm not getting those jobs. Then, on the flip side, I've done very well with the interviews that really excited me, but I don't GET jobs that really excite me. I get the job that makes me feel lukewarm or even tepid.
Which necessarily means that I'm not going to get any of the jobs for which I've so far interviewed. Instead I'm going to end up working for a 3 person firm in Hutchinson that is heavily involved in local (not international) cattle and grain trade. Or maybe divorce work.
That'll be great. Fond memories there.
I believe a philosopher of logic would tell me that I'm currently operating on a fallacy. To which I would respond, "Ha ha! Fallacy!"
Nothing? Doesn't anyone get penis jokes anymore?
Now, for a meta-moment: I'm sorry for writing such a series of downer entries, but such is law school during hiring season. Law students exist in four different categories of emotion at this time.
1. Relieved but nervous, because we got a job, but we're terrified of it.
2. Frustrated, because we've had a thousand (or 3, 4, 5, or 6) interviews, and none of them seem to be panning out. Kind of like dates in my life. Only my number is smaller. And I'm about 300 miles past frustrated.
3. Terrified, because we don't have a job; we don't have prospects; and we don't have a clue.
4. Married and going to law school because we are bored. This is only for established couples, where one person is already married and making a decent enough wage that the other isn't too stressed out.
At times like these, its kind of hard to believe that things are going to get better. And yet the suicide rate of lawyers is WAY lower than one might expect.
So that's nice.
OK, OK. I'm just kidding! For all I know, the suicide rate might be way higher than we expect. Sheesh! It's called creative license, people!
Anyway, taking all of this into consideration, I was especially interested and surprised by the letter I received today from Polsinelli. It appears that they were very impressed by me and were glad that I had taken time out of my day to interview with them, but there were so many great candidates that, even though it was a very difficult decision, they simply could not offer me a "call back" interview.
Now, I appreciate rejection couched in kindness as much as the next guy, but have a heart! Posinelli was rejecting me after an interview THAT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!
That's right. They had two full rooms of interviews, as I understand it. That means 40 full people. Unquestionably a long, arduous, honest day's work. But I was in no way involved! None. Not even a little.
When I got the letter, I was confused. At first I was relieved. I hadn't gotten a single rejection letter, and I was beginning to worry that I'd written my address down incorrectly or something.
Clearly that was not the case.
Anyway, I was relieved, but then I thought, "Wait a tick! The first KC firm I interviewed with was Swanson Midgley. They were very nice. I don't think I've ever interviewed with... who is this? ... Oh yeah, Posinelli."
So I get online, check with easelaw, and sure enough: No interview. I had been wrongly rejected.
Not that I'm complaining. I mean, if I can be wrongly rejected, couldn't I also be wrongly accepted.
"This is Latham Watkins in Chicago. We were very impressed with your resume and your interview with us at the Chicago U. Career Fair. We'd like to invite you to a call back interview at our firm."
"Huh? But I didn't even app... Did you say call back? Will I be paying for my flight?"
"Oh, no, sir. The firm handles the costs for call back interviews."
"Where do I sign?"
Oh, how wonderful would life be, if mistakes like that worked both ways? Sadly, in my experience, they don't. The world is filled with incorrect rejection letters. You have to be rich and friends with 5 of the 9 supreme court justices to get incorrect acceptance letters.
Sorry, I'm not very good at political humor.
That's my story tonight. Now it's almost midnight. Do you still have no idea where your child is? Have you considered adoption? Seriously, once he puts down the gun, your kid will realize you're doing him a favor.